Long time, no see. I am now sober at age 45

Boy, it sure has been awhile, I forgot this was even here, and I doubt anyone reads these anyway but here goes...

I still havent moved away from the desert, quite the contrary, moved closer to the heart of Phoenix..however I have learned to be more grateful of this state.

I have been on a major crash course in deflation of my ego over the past two years...oh joy...but it is cleansing, and I appreciate what I have, and value my time and energy now. I cannot allow everyone in to the Jen sanctuary. I do not have to be loyal to everyone, I an be kind, but I don't have to entertain those who suck me dry of my energy. This is good stuff for me, finally at this age, to have boundaries.

I am a little over a year clean and sober now. Rebuilding my life, and it is hard but I have an amazing support system and a loving HP.

Thats all for now

....all psyched up and...

...other life stuff got into the way....DAMNIT!!! LOL....Next weekend it is HAPPENING! I will be Home Depot Bound!

Let's start with #3: Veggie Gardening (in the desert mind you)

I am planning on heading to Home Depot for some boards, stakes, some fertilizer and a shovel. I want a long raised bed in my backyard under the tree, yes I know "under the tree" sounds like a stupid place for a garden, but if you saw this tree you would know it is no threat to a garden, it's a poor "shade tree" meant for moister climates but will grow here in Phoenix. It's straggly, kind of like my hair right now lol.

Anyway, I feel my garden under this tree will be important for the summer months because if I have to go out there and work in the sun or heat, I have to have shade. I hate the sun, if I could live in a place which is overcast every day, I would love it. I love rain, clouds, fog etc. People think I am crazy, the sun for most people makes them happy and in a good mood...not me, and I have been this way since I was little - figures I ended up in Phoenix, but oh well. I am going to make the best of it. I want my little sanctuary of green in my backyard and I am going to get it (without cacti).

I found a lady who would happily donate horse manure, all I can take so I have that down. I have found a website about greywater, and to my amazement, Arizona is the easiest state to be able to do that legally! YAY! I mean seriously, all that water my teenager uses for his showers can now actually be put to good use, and I won't have to pay the water company to have it "processed" and sent back to me, right? Sounds like a good deal to me. This will also force me to use more eco friendly products to clean with, hopefully I can find stuff that is cheap, or maybe make my own will have to see about that.

So my goal this weekend is to get the bed ready. I have a chart for what veggies to plant when, and I am thinking cabbage, lettuce, spinach, radishes, carrots, brussel sprouts, and a few others to start.

I will show off my progress (whatever it may be) next week =) I am so excited!

The things I have always wanted to do but came up with stupid excuses not to...

1) Swing Dancing
2) Getting a chicken coop going in my backyard
3) Veggie gardening - organic
4) Cattle Drive
5) Owning another horse
6) Finishing college
7) Getting into the best shape I have ever been
8) Move away from the desert FOR GOOD.

I will add more as I think of them...